One day I'm out on my deck, working on my computer (not to mention actually getting some Sun/Son/Nos)is( & vitamin D in me for a change). I was working on the development of a video game that involved hexagrams, which I choose to use due to it being a strategy game, along with the fact that hexes allow for equal movement of distance, whereas a square grid does not.
The couple days prior had been quite odd, which I realize is quite vague. It was a process that perhaps peaked at this time in question.
Right. So I walk inside for some water and God/Spirit/fill_in_the_blank_with_your_fav hit me... hard. I was hit with seeing a million of my faults instantly and began toggling crying, praying, with vomitting bile (which has maybe happened 3 times in my life). But here's the good part... Concurrently, I feel the strongest sense of the divine that I've ever experienced ALSO in terms of love for ME. This guy... despite my silliness...
I began doing things (the first few days at least) purely intuitively and began seeing signs everywhere. I (only now do I know this of course... how many times will we be the fool again?) feel I'm being led to work for something better. For the Unity & Love of ALL/The Creation, and that the best way I can do that is to really start working more on myself, by banishing silly lies I'd told myself, getting more actual nature (walks, swimming, etc), and by learning more and more via gnosis, trying new things, music, arts and crafts even, cooking, making natural products (while learning more about common negative substances).
I began receiving 'downloads' or whatever you may want to call the same. I just see it as a connection with the Divine. That One Spirit God sense we all share via Mind. It's funny to me now, but I had been applying Gematria numerology before I even knew that it had existed! Ha!
Then found out I'd been visioning / skrying all my life. Hey I've got a certain important orb in Pisces, natally. I like to use that as an excuse anyways. 🙂